“Why can’t you just sit still?” Here’s why…
Every child is unique. You can see it.
Some are bubbly and bright. Others are soft-spoken and quiet. In my book, The Child Whisperer, I call the four main ways that children move through life the 4 Types of children.
The Type 1 Fun-loving Child is likely to be called hyperactive.
They express the highest level of movement in their thoughts, behaviors, and body language. They need to move—a lot! Sometimes parents and teachers get frustrated by their random and quick energy. Many of these children receive inaccurate diagnoses like ADD and ADHD.
I invite you today to banish frustration. You don’t have to just handle your hyperactive child. You can support the high-energy child in your life so that their tendencies thrive.
1. Your high-energy boy grasps concepts and skills quickly, which means he is often bored.
Boys often receive the label “hyperactive” because they aren’t challenged or they aren’t given the freedom to find their own challenges. It has nothing to do with their intellectual ability.
TIP: Support your son by communicating with him about his school experience. If you sense he’s bored, ask him what ideas he has to create challenges that will keep him from being bored. Remember, Type 1 children always have ideas. He will feel supported that you are giving him this outlet.
2. When your son blurts something or wants to talk, he’s not being rude on purpose.
He’s simply very excited about what he’s learning or a discovery he’s made.
Type 1 children always have thoughts popping in and out of their minds and they will speak up without considering whether it’s an appropriate time to speak. This runs contrary to a parent or teacher’s desire to maintain order.
These boys often feel that they are in “trouble” when they only wanted to share excitement about something.
TIP: As much as it depends on you, welcome your son’s tendency to share his excitement at random. If he has a teacher who prefers a quieter and more structured environment, consider sharing The Child Whisperer with that teacher. Explain that your son will do best when he has opportunities to verbally share what he learns.
If his teacher is not responsive, guide your son in seeing that he’s not a troublemaker. Help him recognize times and places when he is most free to speak up, and when it’s appropriate to wait.
3. Your son LOVES to be free.
If your son doesn’t feel free to explore or feels overly structured, you may find him wandering off to explore without notifying you. Again, he isn’t being naughty. He’s just trying to find freedom from feeling too contained.
Boundaries are definitely needed! But always remember his need to be free.
TIP: If you’re a parent who tends toward being overly structured in your home, consider loosening the schedule a bit. Allow your son has chunks of time where he gets to try out some of his ideas or where he can simply play whatever games he wants to play.
Unstructured time supports him in feeling balanced. It will help him be more able to focus when it’s necessary.
4. Encourage him to write down his ideas.
He’s got so many ideas and he often forgets one idea because a second idea comes to him so quickly.
TIP: Get him a special notebook and pen that’s only for writing down his ideas. Talk about which ideas to prioritize and which to just appreciate for the sake of the idea itself. This will help him to learn to focus and follow through on projects.
5. Your son can tell if you aren’t listening.
Show genuine interest when your son shares his ideas and discoveries. He can see right through fake enthusiasm and he knows when he doesn’t have your full attention.
TIP: A simple way to show love to your son is to get excited about his ideas with him sometimes. Ask him questions. Invite him to tell you more. Don’t pressure him to act on ideas right away. Simply laugh with him and enjoy his enthusiasm.
6. Realize that he won’t ever “grow out” of his youthful, upward and light movement.
It’s really just who he is and it’s not a marker of immaturity for him.
TIP: Understand and accept his light nature. Don’t pressure him to slow his movement down as he matures. His high energy can be a great gift! Encourage him and trust that he will make his way in the world, even if it doesn’t look the way you think it should look.
He might always show giddy enthusiasm about his ideas and discoveries well into adulthood.
Are you parenting a Type 1 son? If so, go back and review the Type 1 section in The Child Whisperer book from time to time.
A refresher will be supportive to you! If you don’t know what Type of child you’re parenting, pick up a copy of The Child Whisperer. You’ll learn how to read your child more clearly and create more cooperation and happiness in your home.