To the Parents of the Overly Sensitive Boy

What his whining really means.

Does your son’s whining wear you down?

You’re certainly not alone. You try to be empathetic, but eventually, the whining becomes too much.

It’s important to remember that by whining, he isn’t trying to annoy you—his whine has a deeper meaning: he isn’t feeling supported, honored, or heard.

Each child moves through the world in his or her own way. Some are loud and adventurous. Others are more reserved and analytical. In my book, The Child Whisperer, I call the four main ways that children move through life the 4 Types of children.

The Sensitive Type 2 Child is likely to be labeled as “overly sensitive.” 

Your sensitive son expresses a soft, subtle quality in his thoughts, behaviors, and body language. He prefers to have time to get comfortable with people or places before jumping in. If you try pushing him into new situations too fast, it can backfire.

His sensitive nature has many gifts, and here are 5 tips that will help you raise him true to his nature.

1. Your son needs support to be true to his sensitive nature.

We damage boys by telling them to grow up and “be a man.” Or by saying “big boys don’t cry. Stop being so whiny. Get over it. Toughen up.”

These are all negative messages Type 2 boys hear that cause them to contradict their true nature.

Because Type 2 energy is a softer, subtler energy, it’s important for their true nature to be honored.

TIP: Teach him to appreciate his nature and live true to it. Help him to see his sensitivity as a strength and all the ways that a man who honors his true nature becomes successful.

2. He needs more time to finish things.

In order for your son to be successful in finishing things, remember this important step: fill him in on the details before he gets started.

Some children are able to dive right in and figure out the details as they go. Not your Type 2 son! Allow him to first sort out the steps in his mind in order to create a plan and invite him to ask any questions he may have.

Once this process is complete, he will be able to move forward with tasks and pursue accomplishments with confidence.

At first, it seems tedious to go through this process, but spending a little more time on the front end only takes a few minutes and the result will be worth it. Your son will learn to create successful outcomes!

TIP: Give him extra time and space to finish the tasks he needs to do. He will want to do things in a routine and methodical way.  

3. Taking extra time isn’t his attempt at a power play.

He’s not being stubborn and he’s not trying to be difficult. He has his own natural pace, and the more you try to rush him or push him along, the easier it is for him to dig in his heels. Because everything is connected for him, one thing affects another and each part flows into the next.

Consider the possibility that you’re creating more conflict by rushing your Type 2 son. When he’s young, his intention is not to frustrate you, although the more you push and pull at him as he grows, the more he may push back by going slow.

TIP:  When it’s time for dinner, time to leave, or time to come inside, give him a prolonged countdown. Tell him what you expect, and then let him plan. Give him the information he needs to prepare, and you will give him a far greater chance to succeed in life.

4. He is not boring or shy!

He’s intricate and deeply caring. He is probably one of the most interesting people you’ll meet!

However, you will need to let him know how much you care before he shows you how amazing he is.

Supporting your Type 2 sons more fluid and easy-going way will help him to trust you and open up to you. If he is feeling pushed into a situation before he’s ready, he may go within himself, become worried, cry, or whine.

TIP:  Don’t make it your job to help him “come out of his shell.” Trust his process and give him opportunities to open up in a space that feels calm and comfortable. That’s when his true nature will shine through and he’ll feel safe to open up. 

5. Your son is an intelligent, thoughtful, and curious person.

He will be very successful because he allows that thoughtful curiosity to lead him to new things.

Encourage his thoughtfulness and his curiosity. Welcome his questions and help him learn how to find the answers for himself. This will point his tendency to ask a lot of questions to an outlet for finding the answers himself eventually.

TIP: Teach him to appreciate his nature and live true to it. Help him to see his sensitivity as a strength and all the ways that a man who honors his true nature becomes successful.

Some of the most successful men in the world have been Type 2 men.

These men have made a huge impact on our daily lives!

Albert Einstein changed the way we understand the science of our world by asking questions.

Mark Zuckerberg helps us all stay connected no matter where we live in the world.

Martin Luther King, Jr. helped us open our hearts to more love and understanding no matter our race or culture.

What are some ways that you can support your son’s more sensitive nature? Share your ideas in the comments!

Are you parenting a Type 2 son? If so, go back and review the Type 2 section in The Child Whisperer book from time to time.

A refresher will be supportive to you! If you don’t know which Type of child you’re parenting, pick up a copy of The Child Whisperer. You’ll learn how to read your child more clearly and create more cooperation and happiness in your home.

 

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