Is His Strong Will Wearing You Out?
You’re not alone! Many parents feel challenged by their strong-willed children. The good news? There are key ways to help you embrace this energy and turn it into a powerful strength.
Each child moves through the world in their own way. Some are soft-spoken and reserved, while others are loud and adventurous. In The Child Whisperer, I describe four unique ways children express themselves—the 4 Types of children.
Today, let’s focus on the Determined Type 3 Child, often seen as “strong-willed.”
These children push forward in life with determination and high energy. They’re active, hands-on, and quick to jump into action—qualities that can sometimes feel like “too much” to manage. Let’s look at five key insights to help you embrace your child’s determination as a gift:
1. Your Son is Capable of More Than You May Think
Your Type 3 child likely has a natural confidence in his abilities. And he is determined to make things happen.
He can handle a lot of experiences you might think are too challenging for his age. In fact, because of his natural drive, he may be able to do many things that other children at his age might not.
TIP: Encourage your son in his big pursuits. Trust your son and your own intuition to guide you in what to let him try. If he constantly gets resistance from you, he’ll just grow up to do his own thing and not involve you. But if he feels supported, you will build a relationship of trust with him, where he knows he is allowed to be himself.
2. He Often Receives the Message That He’s “Too Much”
Your child’s energy is bigger than he is when he’s young. He doesn’t always know how to manage his forward-pushing energy all the time.
He can easily be labeled the “difficult child.” Many Type 3 boys distance themselves from adults who place this judgment on them in order to feel more freedom.
TIP: Words matter. Don’t label your ambitious and determined son as difficult or defiant. He isn’t intending to upset you. Remind yourself this his big, loud energy can also be called fiery, determined, eager, ambitious, and fully alive.
3. When He’s Loud and Physical, It Doesn’t Mean He Needs Discipline
Type 3 children first relate to the world physically. They are hands-on and they move with a swift energy. This can looks like your son being loud or rough-housing with kids in a way that needs correction.
He’s not bothering people on purpose. He’s just moving through the world with big energy that he needs to learn how to manage.
TIP: Make sure he has plenty of physical outlets each day. Let him show you what activities suit him best. This might be sports, but it could also be hands-on work like mechanics, woodworking, or entrepreneurial projects. Supporting his active energy will set him up for success and help him manage his natural strength.
4. He Needs Your Guidance in His Big Pursuits
Just because he is determined and willing to take risks, doesn’t mean he always knows what’s best for himself. He still needs your perspective.
When it’s fitting, he needs your help to re-direct his energy toward something safer or more appropriate based on your family’s schedule.
TIP: Support your son by learning to manage your “no’s.” As parents we do need to tell our sons “no,” but pay close attention that you’re not saying it unless it’s truly necessary. More than any other Type, your son needs to feel free to explore and to go on self-directed adventures.
5. When He’s Tired or Hungry, He’ll Act Out More
Your son’s body will respond negatively when his diet is not nutritious, or when he needs rest. This can look like tantrums when he’s younger. As he gets older, this can look like taking on too much.
If he learns to listen to his own body’s physical cues, he will grow up to get a lot done, without burning himself out.
TIP: When he’s small, make sure his diet is healthy and that he’s getting enough rest. As he grows, teach him to listen to his body and to eat when he’s hungry and rest when he’s tired.
BONUS TIP: Take Time for Yourself Too! Raising a high-energy child can be exhausting. When you feel worn out, make sure to take a break. Give yourself moments to recharge, so you can bring your best self to supporting your son’s growth.
Your Type 3 Son’s Determination is His Gift
His energy and drive are the foundation for achieving incredible things. Encourage him to keep pushing forward! His natural determination will help him succeed.
Are you parenting a Type 3 son? If so, revisit the Type 3 section in The Child Whisperer book whenever you need a refresher. And if you’re not sure which Type your child is, pick up a copy of The Child Whisperer to gain deeper insights into supporting your child’s natural gifts.
