Are you feeling nervous about the teen years? Do you dread the thought of your child rebelling?
If you’re like most parents, it’s possible that your entire parenting approach has been tailored toward avoiding difficulty in the teen years.
But there’s a good chance that rebellion is not what you think it is.
Children don’t want to rebel or cause you heartache. More than anything, they want to live true to themselves.
You see, the children coming into the world these days are generally unwilling to repress their true nature in order to please their parents. This is strikingly different from the generations you and I grew up in.
So what is the real reason your teenager rebels?
There are two reasons a child rebels:
- It’s because they’re trying to make their own way (which I would say is not rebellion)
- Or they’re acting out in order to be heard. They’re trying to get their message across to you.
That’s right—rebellion isn’t their motive; it’s their mechanism to be heard.
True rebellion is a side effect of a lot of years of things going wrong without you knowing why they’re going wrong. It’s a child’s reaction to feeling stifled and trying to be heard for who they truly are.
At the heart of it, children just want to be loved for who they are.
We all want to be loved and accepted in this world. Our human experience needs us to be loved by others. The old way was that we would change who we were to experience this love; but now, we are not willing to do this.
When children don’t feel loved for who they truly are, they have two choices: they can either repress themselves, or they can distance themselves from their family and find a group of individuals who will accept them, so they can find themselves.
The result of this distance? You and your teenager get into a pattern of survival and conflict because you lack the understanding to shift it.
What can you do to prevent this “rebellion” or, if you’re already in it, how can you shift it?
Let’s face it: there are a lot of old patterns and parenting habits that aren’t serving us anymore. And without knowing it, you might be parenting your children contrary to their true natures.
This is okay—you didn’t have this information before. It’s not as though you’re purposely trying to shut down your child. It’s just how things play out because you aren’t aware of a better way.
But there is a better way. Once you discover which Type of child you’re raising by reading The Child Whisperer, you’ll experience more cooperation and understanding between you and your teenager.
Ask yourself: is it possible your child is just trying to find their own path? Do they need your support—even though it’s scary?
Remember, it’s never too late to start creating a better relationship with your child!
Let yourself love your children, no matter what path they’re choosing. Always let love win.
